


cold pork shoulder

by rambunctiousragamuffin



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Other, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:33:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22031857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rambunctiousragamuffin/pseuds/rambunctiousragamuffin
Summary: Geralt was making the most of some downtime in between contracts to do some chores.
Relationships: geralt/monster
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	cold pork shoulder

Gerlat was sitting by the campfire, brooding broodily over his swords. Je ahd run out of sword oilt o polish them :((( Dandilion the bard was nathing sexily in a stream but gerlat was a MA N who loved MEN and not little BARDS so he didn't care and just sat sullenly as the last embers spat at his face. Why was Dandelion bathing at night? Who knows and who cares, it's not important to this story. What is important that geralt needed more sword oil, but the closest town was still two days walk away.

he lounged back on his pack and heard a small "crack" oh fuck geralt thought what was that? did i break something? he broke a glass vial inside was an oil but not a sword oil but an oil that makes you HORNY,

geralt cut his finger collecting the glass shards and the horny oil got into his bloodstream and mage him HORNY so now gerlat was horny!!!!!!

he took his pants off and used the pommel of his sword as a dildo but that still wasn't enough and he was so distracted by masturbating that he didn't hear the monster that was coming to the campfire because it smelled gerlat's horny oil.

it pushed geralt over on to all fours and then smelled geralts butthole which had the sword poking out of it.

it pulled the sowrd out and gave geralt's butthole a couple of licks before moving on top of geralt and sticking its dick in his ass,

wow! gerlat thought. this is a REAL man as he moaned in ecsacy as the monster dick ruptured geralt's transverse cologne.

the monster thrust a couple more times and then dropped some eggs in gerry's guts and then dandelion came back from bathing and killed hte monster the end.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by bastardoftheearth's egg meals series <3


End file.
